You're Held Back by the Ghosts of Past Plans and Past Selves. Who's gonna help you?
Not the Ghostbusters. (Though you could try for a laugh.) And have you heard of the New Beginnings Mindset?
I’ve been thinking a lot about personal branding, advisory, career change, midlife transitions, AI, productisation of services, market segmentation in this new age, mentoring, professional goals, business and career longevity… And I’ll get back to all this in the second half of this post and in subsequent ones.
But I’ve also been thinking about cranks who publish thought leadership spat out by LLMs and not backed by any personal experience, and my personal pet hate: people who coach others but never listen to them and just keep pushing their own thoughts without any interest in the actual thoughts or circumstances of the person they are supposed to be coaching.
I’ve recently listened to a podcast episode like that where the “coach” was just pushing and pushing their ideas and was only interested in the poor subject’s opinions to the extent these supported whatever he was trying to push. Argh. Please don’t get coached by people like that. Stick to drinks and chats at the pub or something.
Good coaches mostly listen and ask questions that disrupt your thinking patterns in the right way and help you reframe situations, step by step. They are definitely not using you so they can listen to their own opinions. They also don’t tell you straight out what to do. They work with you to find WHAT WORKS FOR YOU at the stage you are at. They meet you where you are.
Mentors are different; there is much more proper hands-on advice involved, which is why you really want someone with actual experience in what you are doing. And advisors advise (and consultants implement.)
I often do a combination of the three depending on what is required, but it is good to establish some clarity with the person helping you what exactly it is you guys are trying to achieve together.
Are you solving a particular problem? Is it a business issue or a “you” issue?
Are you looking to develop new skills or facing a particularly challenging business issue?
Do you want to / have to change career direction or reposition your business due to unprofitability / competitive or market challenges?
Are you working on a transformation? Of your leadership style or the business? In the latter case, you might still need coaching to help deal with the leadership demands any big business transformation will place on you – most leaders were not born to do it.
Is it mostly about you needing someone in your corner? (This is a very important one, actually, if you are in a stressful position!)
Whatever the issue you want to solve, you should get clarity and discuss it upfront. Things can also change – and they probably should.
One more thing on this, and I cannot believe this is still an issue in 2025, having a business coach or mentor can be appropriate at any stage of your career, from top to bottom. Dear Boomers and fellow Gen X, seriously, it’s pretty normal and helpful to have someone who is not your closest personal friend or (poor) spouse listening to you. And it is good to have someone to bounce things with. If you feel uncomfortable calling them a coach, call them a personal advisor or something. It’s good for your performance and your sanity.
Long-time readers of my newsletter have likely noticed that one of the underlying principles of my thinking is that the mindset you need to succeed in business, management, leadership, career, and personal growth is very much the same.
It is built on a combination of: